Behind the scenes of my own transformation...

The New Earth Mystery School Retreat hosted by Martin McNicholl, was held in Awakeland in Portugal 9th - 14th September… and it was a week that changed my life.

Can I ever express and convey the magnitude of the New Earth Mystery School Retreat in Portugal? In one word… no. It was simply beyond words… because that’s the space we went to. Before I went on the retreat, I posted that I was ready to free myself up from the procrastinating and self sabotaging... and go ‘all in’. And I had absolutely no idea what that actually meant.

Through the power of Martin’s Activate Breathwork… through the power of dance… through my sheer determination to push through my fears of speaking my truth, of being fully seen… of being judged, not liked… thought of as a weirdo and being misunderstood… through breaking the patterns of putting everyone and everything else first… and not fully taking up my space in our beautiful world… letting go of my ‘poor me’ stories of lack… through my opening into vulnerability and asking for help… through crying with bliss and gut wrenching sorrow… through my desire to transform aspects of myself and my life… I found the ‘me’ that I didn’t even know I was looking for.

I danced wildly into an ecstatic state with the primal beats of shamanic drumming opening up every cell of my being… primal guttural howls of the wolf rose from the depths of the suppressed Divine Feminine… and it was utter joy and pure freedom. Maybe that makes you uncomfortable… but that says more about you than it does about me. I saw myself coming from the stars into Native American ceremonies… I felt myself riding on the back of a wild white horse with feathers flying and pure embodied freedom of knowing who I am… I came out of breathwork into blurry double vision and of not being in my body as I shifted multi-dimensionally into a higher vibrational state of being… and I came back to earth, transformed. I saw through new eyes and a brave heart. I channelled love and held space as others moved through the healing of releasing internal raw suppressed rage, terror and grief… I felt the transmutation through our central healing vortex in the dome… and through my own physical body. I witnessed the relief and peace that followed as years fell away from pained eyes, to be replaced with love. I lay under the night time stars of Sirius, Orions Belt and the Pleiades before the sun rose… I bathed in the light of the full moon and felt the love of Mother Earth and the Universe fulfil me. I was fully seen and rumbled by my Sister who saw the truth of my presence as she saw me shape shift as my barriers fell away… I set my Light Language free and was shown the depths of its power. I asked for guidance and the Elohim spoke through Martin to show me my truth and purpose… and I allowed myself to hear the magnitude of what I bring to this world. I was called forward to step up… I did… and I AM.

I also laughed like I’ve never laughed in my life. I ate huge amounts of delicious vegan food and chocolate cake… tripped myself up on my aladdin pants and crashed to the floor… and laughed some more… I braved the compost loos… allowed myself the gift of leaning into the softness of feminine love and comfort from others… I was triggered and mirrored and shown myself to know myself even more deeply… I was honoured and humbled to be the celebrant for Martin & Elise’s wedding vows and blessing… to bear witness and be inspired by their love… I was elated and exhausted at the same time… I belonged… I was reunited with my family. I was loved. I am LOVE. I am home.

Life will never be the same… THANK YOU my beautiful NEMSFAM for setting me free, for loving me… and allowing me to love you. We are ONE.

Here we GL🌟W…